Square Pig in a Round Hole

February 25, 2012

2012-02-25T14:13:00.001-08:00

The club listings were not quite as inspiring as usual this week, but that just gives me a chance to include two bands on the bill with Your Mother Should Know at the High Dive on April 6: The Tailenders and Youth Rescue Mission. (The fourth band and headliner, Curtains for You, has been featured previously, but always has my support).

Djinn and Tonic Belly Dance Revue
I love the translinguistic pun, as well as the West-meets-East idea of the drink and the dance. And then there's the whole bottle thing . . .

In Medias Res
This is where writers are advised to begin the story: in the middle of things. It's also a pretty good time to drop into a party!

PK
Long, long ago, before we were Your Mother Should Know, my brother and I were The PKs, short for Preacher's Kids. So I have to wonder -- does anyone in this group belong to that same club?

The Tailenders
This name implies a kind of loser pride, not ashamed to bring up the rear, hang off the back, sweep up the leavings -- and maybe kick off the after-party, when the real fun happens.

Youth Rescue Mission
Sing it with me: "My life was saved by rock and roll."

February 18, 2012

2012-02-18T16:29:00.000-08:00

I'm at a loss for any kind of clever introductory banter, so I'll just get to this week's list:

The Asteroids Galaxy Tour
Always a sucker for goofy space references. I like the idea of a band having not just a world tour, but a galaxy tour. They must have a heck of a bus.

Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown
Completely relateable.

Ten Second Epic
This at first seems like an oxymoron, but it's all in how the tale is told.

Thing Changers
You always hear that things change -- now we know who's responsible.

Wilt
As much as I love long, rambling band names, sometimes a nice monosyllable hits the spot. This could be what thirsty plants do, or a good old word that doesn't get much use these days: wilt thou have this band?

February 11, 2012

2012-02-11T17:21:00.000-08:00

It's after 5 pm and still light out! That's a reason to celebrate, whether you have a Valentine or not. As always, there's no end of great bands playing shows in the coming week. These names stood out:

And And And
This one distills a favorite naming convention to its essence. All conjunctions, all the time.

Bang Sha Bang
As a drummer, I'm happy to support this percussive bit of onomatopoeia.

Chrononauts
And as a science fiction writer, how could I not laud these sailors of the timestream?

I the Mighty
One the resident young people used to call himself "I. the Great." His brother was "[name redacted] the Mighty." I don't think this is them, but it seems to pay them homage.

Terabyte and the Battery Eaters
And here is the aforementioned favorite naming convention, dressing up an old-fashioned framework in the garb of our digital age.

February 4, 2012

2012-02-04T14:27:00.000-08:00

Shameless Plug: Your Mother Should Know will play an unplugged set as part of a benefit show, 7 pm tonight at Prospect Congregational UCC, 1919 E Prospect St. It's a nice mixed bill of soloists and ensembles, doing jazz, blues, gospel, and original songs. Admission by donation, all welcome!

On to the business at hand:

Beet Oven
There's the Beethoven reference, of course, but the pun of "beet" for "beat" is one I never get tired of. Wonderful as they are, root vegetables don't come across as particularly cool or hip. They're more down-to-earth (literally) and reliable. Maybe I relate to them! Roasting them takes them to a higher plane, hence the oven.

Dominant Legs
I recently read that humans are weird because (among other oddities) 90% of us are right-handed, whereas in other animals with a dominant hand, paw or flipper, it's 50%. That answered two questions I had, and (along with this band name) raised another: if you're right-handed, are you automatically right-legged/footed?

I Hate You Just Kidding
I like the idea of a band name that's a complete sentence. This one sentiment reveals a manipulative character who should perhaps be kept even closer than an enemy -- and don't turn your back.

Radioshark
Everybody's favorite source for adapters becomes dangerous. Or maybe it's a radio-controlled shark. Wait a minute, is this the Fake Shark from last week?

Thee Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra
Sheer extravagance wins this one a place on the list -- everything from the number of words to the extra "e" in the definite article to "orchestra" instead of "band." It all adds up to a kind of ridiculous grandeur.

January 28, 2012

2012-01-28T14:10:00.000-08:00

Your Mother Should Know, the band for which I am drummer and sometime backup vocalist, has been working hard to prepare an unplugged set that will be part of a benefit concert at Prospect Congregational United Church of Christ, Saturday, February 4 at 7:00 p.m. Donations will help pay for the new stove, which is used to prepare daily lunch for a lot of very deserving preschoolers. Meanwhile, it's fun and educational to learn our songs in new arrangements.

These band names caught my eye this week:

Bonfire So-So
I assume this is a reference to Campfire OK, a past honoree in this blog. I'm a big fan of band names inspired by other band names. I also like this one on its own merits, because of the disconnect. How could anything as extravagant as a bonfire be only so-so?

Fake Shark Real Zombie
I saw Jaws when I was 11, only to discover too late that I was one of those younger children for whom the movie was too intense. When I finally saw it again as an adult, I laughed because the shark was so obviously fake. In the campy monster movie with the same name as this band, I would then turn around to confront a real zombie and either die of fright or somehow remove its head.

Jakalope
I always enjoyed seeing stuffed jackalopes in gift shops in Montana. That's how you knew you'd left our time zone.

Nucular Aminals
One of the resident gamers is playing a game set near Chernobyl, so this is timely. Spelling out the mispronunciation gives it a nice Cold-War edge.

Really Old Airplanes
It sounds like the answer to a question, anything from: "What did you see on your trip?" to "What do you collect?" Are they a waste of time or what makes life worth living?

January 21, 2012

2012-01-21T15:56:00.000-08:00

OK, so that wasn't the greatest week for getting out to hear bands in Seattle, unless you could walk to a club. We hope to get out tomorrow to hear Triptet at Lucid. The snow and slush are melting fast, so we could even drive if we have to. These names tickled my fancy:

Dies Drear
This is perfect for Seattle in winter: not Dies Irae (Day of Wrath), but Dies Drear (Day of Low Clouds with Chance of Rain or Rain/Snow Mix and Dark by 5:00 P.M.). The aural pun secures it a place on the list.

The Fifth Wall
In theater, an actor breaks the fourth well by addressing the audience directly. The presence of a fifth wall implies that he could address another dimension. (Or maybe just the orchestra down in the pit, or that guy up in the flies).

If Bears Were Bees
I can't imagine much honey would get made, bears being solitary critturs and all. They certainly wouldn't leave any for the rest of us.

A Lull
I like this because it's the opposite of what you find at most rock shows. Any lull in the proceedings gets filled with noise. A little space allows the music to make even more impact.

Supply and the Man
This one gets my attention for a bunch of reasons. It uses the classic "X and the Y" formula; it features a clever play on a familiar phrase that's easy to miss unless you say it aloud; and it makes mention of "the Man," that powerful figure to whom rock & roll wishes to stick it. Well done.

January 14, 2012

2012-01-14T13:37:00.000-08:00

Did anyone else notice that Friday the 13th fell on a Friday this month? It's too late now to hide under the bed, so you might as well go out -- weather permitting! Here are some bands to consider:

The Awfully Sudden Death of Martha G.
This sounds like an Edward Gorey caption, or else the title of a Lemony Snicket novel. Why does the addition of "awfully" make Martha's sudden death seem less terrible, or at least more refined?

The Bourbonites
Preferable by far to being a suburbanite. (And also indirectly connected to last week's whiskey theme).

Frost Giants
I'm a big fan of Norse mythology, so this gets my vote. I wonder if there's a duo out there called Thor & Loki.

A Lot Like Birds
What's a lot like birds besides other birds? Dunno -- the appeal is in the mystery. I also like that they're on the same bill with Just Like Vinyl.

Spaceneedles
Local flavor all over the place! The plural cracks me up -- how could there be more than one? Running the words together makes it look almost unfamiliar.

January 7, 2012

2012-01-07T15:27:00.000-08:00

I had already chosen my list when I noticed that the week seemed to have a theme. These bands are all playing in the next few days: Whiskey Syndicate, Sunday Evening Whiskey Club, Whiskey Swillers, and Weatherside Whiskey Band. Is the year already such a trial? Anyway, here are my picks:

Deception Past
I like the reference to a fabulously-named (and personal favorite) geographic feature, with a little tweak to make it about yesterday's lies.

Ever-So-Android
Effete meets SF.

The Gargle Blasters
I cannot fail to honor this reference to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I'm surprised I hadn't done it already.

Lights On Why
For safety, of course. The lack of punctuation adds a nice ambiguity. Is it a question? A demand? A bit of dialogue?

The Table of Contents
Brave to name your band for the dullest (usually) part of the book.

December 31, 2011

2011-12-31T11:49:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I hope that 2012 will bring many more notable band names. This week's picks:

Down with People
This could be an anti-people protest slogan or a statement of support: "I'm totally down with them." I like the ambiguity.

Feeding Frenzy
Energetic and messy, like the best rock music. I chose this one because of an emerging shark theme (see People Tank, below). I understand that sharks have more to fear from us than we from them, but I still wouldn't want to get caught in a feeding frenzy. Down with people, indeed.

Le Shat Noir
A cat is implied, and the French lends elegance, but it's still gross. Somebody clean that litter box!

People Tank
What the shark villain threatens the hero with in shark spy fiction. They have more to fear from us than we from them.

Pierced Arrows
I read about this band and got interested in them before I realized what a great name they have. Nice reference to a classic car that younger fans might not even recognize. I have to support punk rockers in their 60s -- makes me feel like a young whippersnapper!

December 24, 2011

2011-12-24T14:28:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! Not many shows this week, but Santa brought a handful of winners: one seasonal, the rest decidedly not.

Death Polka
I've heard of a dance of death, but I never pictured it accompanied by jolly oom-pah music.

The Donner Vixens
Christmas-y, yet of questionable taste in so many ways! (Insert your own cannibal joke here). I heard this week that if Santa's reindeer are as usually portrayed, with full antlers in mid-winter, they're all female. So I really hope this is a girl group.

Full Toilet
This may be the grossest band name I've encountered, because we've all seen it. But it made me laugh.

Leadership by Assault
My wish for 2012 is that this is not what we get.

Redneck Girlfriend
This partners nicely with my favorite Young Fresh Fellows song, "Hillbilly Drummer Girl."

December 17, 2011

2011-12-17T16:58:00.000-08:00

It's been a long week and I don't have many brain cells left, so let's get straight to the list:

All Stars No Stripes Band
I like the double meaning of "stars" that lets the name go off in an unexpected direction.

Grunge Tree
So that's where it comes from! In the '90s, there must have been a whole orchard.

Pink Freud
Rock band as analyst? "Tell me about pink, Mr. Floyd . . ."

Screaming Sons of
I love the bitten-off expletive as band name. Finish it how you will.

Sugar Burger
A weird but sweet term of endearment, in the same category as "Little Cabbage."

December 10, 2011

2011-12-10T15:04:00.001-08:00

I had the privilege to hear the James King Trio last night at University Temple United Methodist Church, playing kickass bluegrass gospel. The name is nothing special, but the music? Whew! Mandolin = lead guitar, banjo = bass, and all versions of rock, country, and blues boil down to one beautiful root.

The names I like this week:

The Aimlows
This one has great slacker cred. I like the celebration of low expectations.

Betty Ford Falcons
As I know I've admitted before, I have a soft spot for this kind of name that starts off it one direction and ends up somewhere else, in only three words. Plus, my sister-in-law used to own a late-'60s Ford Falcon Futura with a Detonators bumper sticker, so I have nostalgic fondness for the model.

Heterosapien
These guys should be playing with Hobosexual. Is it the same guys?!

Mansions on the Moon
Nice. I'd settle for a spaceport, but hey, dream big! It's always a beautiful day on the moon . . .

Yamn
My hands-down favorite this week -- the final 'n' seals it. (We're having yams for dinner tonight).

December 3, 2011

2011-12-03T15:38:00.001-08:00

If I weren't going to a holiday party tonight (and if I had an extra $15 kicking around) I'd want to be at the Triple Door to hear The Tripwires and The Young Fresh Fellows! I won't get out to hear any of these bands, either, but I wish them well on the strength of names alone:

Green Pajamas
"Pajamas" evokes homey comfort and childlike sweetness, but "green" somehow gives it a weirder edge. I don't think I've ever had green pajamas, even though green is one of my favorite colors to wear. Now I want some.

Loathsome Couple
I've loved the word "loathsome" ever since Calvin asked Suzie Derkins to guess what he had in his hands and she asked, "Is it loathsome?"

Polkadot Cadaver
Grouped as it was with more sinister sounding bands, this one cracked me up. The polkadots make even a cadaver seem cheery and festive.

The Sound of Speed
I don't think I ever noticed before that the familiar phrase could be switched and still make sense. The sound of speed is probably "Whoosh!" or "Zoom!" but now I want to know, what is the light of speed?

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
As noted previously, I'm a sucker for names that are a little too long for convenience. As a bonus, this one's even a complete sentence and includes a historical figure.

November 26, 2011

2011-11-26T16:17:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! This year, I am thankful for music and bands and the opportunity to play and sing with other people. The first Your Mother Should Know gig was a success, even if I did dream about loading and unloading drums half the night. Many thanks to Mike Gervais of Curtains for You for helping us out on sax!!! I like these names this week:

City Bear
OK, probably not a great idea in reality, but I picture a business-casual bear in hipster glasses riding the bus downtown, getting some coffee, working in an office all day, and then going out on the weekend to play some rock and roll with all the other cool bears.

The Deep Dark Woods
Where the bear actually belongs. This one has that Dante vibe, too.

Rhythm Pigs
Once again, us pigs gotta stick together. Do these pigs have rhythm, or are they hogging it from the rest of the barnyard?

Saturday Morning Cartoon
Oh, this takes me back! When I was a kid, we used to spend Saturday morning in front of the TV, eating pancakes and watching cartoons. In a photo taken when I was 2 or 3, my older brother stares at the screen with rapt attention while shoveling in pancakes, our sister sits up straight and smiles for the camera, and I look utterly perplexed. But I grew to love cartoons -- and their music.

Vincible
This is a word, like gruntled or corrigible, that we don't see nearly enough, even though vincible is more likely than its opposite to be true of you and me.

November 19, 2011

2011-11-19T12:12:00.001-08:00

While there are advantages to joining a rock band as a grown-up -- rehearsal discipline, performance experience, conflict-resolution skills -- the hours make it a young person's sport! I'm still recovering from a late rehearsal two days ago, at which I broke my first drumstick in 36 years. But it's all for a good cause: Your Mother Should Know plays its first gig on Saturday, November 26, 1:00 pm in SkyChurch at EMP. We are stoked. I hope these guys are all as excited to play out as we are:

Countrycide
Change one letter and pastoral and bucolic turns sinister and grim.

Inspector Cluzo
I love those old Peter Sellers "Pink Panther" movies, so this goes in even if I don't know the story behind the spelling.

Noisy Pig
Us pigs have to stick together.

Rats in the Grass
To me, this is creepier than snakes in the grass. Rats come in greater numbers.

Stillborn Again Christians
The clever wordplay sums up the parable of the sower in Matthew 13. Sometimes the conversion doesn't take.

November 12, 2011

2011-11-12T14:33:00.001-08:00

Things have taken a definitive turn; the weather feels like typical November in Seattle. It kept us from going out to hear Pouch last night, but tonight we hope to find the will to get out for The True Bugs.

Are You a Cat?
You don't often see a band name that's a question. And what a question! If the answer is "yes" you can't expect an answer, or much more than a disdainful glance, rendering the question unnecessary.

Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children Macnuggits
Overlong and comically disturbing. I laugh and say "ew" in the same breath.

The True Bugs
I remember learning about true bugs in 9th grade biology. It was both gratifying and amusing to learn that "bug" was a technical term.

Twangshifters
I've been thinking about vowel shifts recently. This is the first time I've considered a twang shift, but hey -- why not? Spoken language evolves, and I'm glad we don't yet all sound alike.

We Were Promised Jetpacks
I have an enduring soft spot for the past's vision of the future. We have near-instanteous global communication that some use to complain that we don't have jetpacks and flying cars. Meanwhile, I have at least 10 household lasers and I'm typing on a tiny yet powerful computer connected wirelessly to every other computer in the house and to the Internet. I admit it -- it's the future.

November 5, 2011

2011-11-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year! Square Pig begins its 2nd year, and there's no end of great band names in sight.

Black Plastic Clouds
As if black clouds weren't threatening enough! Any mention of black plastic reminds me of the ultimately ineffective weed barrier the previous owner of our house used in the front yard. We were digging pieces of black plastic out of the ground for years.

The Great Um
The irony of introducing someone or something great, and you can't remember their name.

Pukesnake
This ends up being dark and juvenile all at once. The repeated "k" sound gives it a nice percussiveness. And they're on the same bill with Pouch, so they must be loud and awesome!

TacocaT
I'm surprised I haven't blogged about this band before. It's a palindrome with built-in humor. On a personal note, I'm a cat lover, and I was briefly known as Taco Man (when I lived in Tacoma - ha, ha), so I notice "taco" as a first syllable of pretty much anything.

The Whywolves
The resident youth says this is a reference to Adventuretime. Even if it isn't, it's funny and clever all on its own. I like the play on words that's one step past a pun.

October 29, 2011

2011-10-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

This is my 52nd weekly post -- a whole year of Square Pig in a Round Hole. Lots of Halloween-themed shows this weekend, but we got such a good dose of loud music last week at the Mudhoney show that we're going to the opera, instead. Only two of my picks seems at all Halloween related, but here they are:

Aaiiee
When I was a kid, we had a Spanish-language Peanuts book. Where in English Charlie Brown would yell, "Aauugh!" in Spanish, he'd yell, "Aaiiee!" So maybe this is more of a Dia de los Muertos thing than a Halloween thing. Regardless, I love the repeated vowels.

Gringo Star
This one got the biggest laugh from the resident panel. It doesn't look like much on the page, but speak it aloud -- perfect.

Imaginary Daughter
One of my favorite fictional characters, Thursday Next, has a daughter who exists only in her imagination. I saw this and immediately thought of Jenny.

Koffin Kats
It's the Ks. Respelling "coffin" takes the sting out of it, and cats make everything better.

The Peculiar Pretzelmen
This is either an obscure Victorian science fiction title or one of my kid's Blood Bowl teams. I like it either way. How could pretzelmen be anything but peculiar?

October 22, 2011

2011-10-22T13:24:00.000-07:00

Even though the Fastbacks had to cancel, I'm looking forward to the Mudhoney show at Neumo's tonight. I mostly missed the '90s, so it's nice to have another shot.

Giant Panda Guerilla Dub Squad
I'm a sucker for names that are impractically long, and this is also a comical image. Just picture giant pandas doing anything worthy of the name "guerilla."

Methamfeta Cheese
A favorite category of wordplay -- starts someplace sinister, ends up someplace silly or even comforting. That said, this must be some pretty powerful cheese.

Mudhoney
I seldom blog about big-name bands, but I loved this name from the start, even if I didn't hear the music until recently. It has that melding of filth and sweetness, and the repeated schwa sound makes it plop off the tongue in a satisfying way.

Psychedelephant
See Methamfeta Cheese, above. Same deal but with pachyderms. If you see this, you've had enough.

Robot PI
This reminded me of when one of the resident youths was in 8th grade and had an assignment to write a detective story. He preferred sci-fi because he wanted his protagonist to be a cyborg. I assured him there was no rule against a cyborg detective, so that's what he wrote about.

2011-10-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

We spent about 4 hours at Reverb last Saturday afternoon, then popped back at 10 p.m. for one more band. We heard 6 groups, all winners. Two I've blogged about before, but only one I'd heard: Mutiny Fires, Shaprece, Stephanie (see below), Less Than Equals, Tom Price Desert Classic, and Curtains for You.

Life in a Blender
It feels that way sometimes, and that's when we need loud music the most.

McFiredrill
I'm not sure what this means but it's fun to say. (OK, I suppose it's actually MC Firedrill, but my way is funnier). Maybe this is the kind of fire drill where the alarm goes off and everybody goes and stands in the hall rather than taking the stairs all the way outside. Fast and easy but somehow unsatisfying.

Stephanie
I'm not sure I would have included this outfit had I not seen them at Reverb -- 5 very young guys, none of them likely to be named Stephanie. I imagine them sitting around one night after rehearsal -- "What are we gonna call our band, guys?" Thoughtful silence. A raised hand. "I've always liked the name . . . Stephanie." Done.

That 1 Guy
That One Show
These two really belong on the same bill. They both take a fragment of the inexact way we talk and, by making it a name, turn it into something specific.

October 8, 2011

2011-10-08T12:31:00.000-07:00

Reverb Festival today! Go!

Astronautilis
Star Squid! The resident science guy thought this might actually work: put a little helmet on there, pressurize the shell, and let it jet around the galaxy.

Astronomar
I was kind of hoping for four more Astro- names but I found only one. This one appeals because it sounds like a real word but I don't quite know what it is. The Starry Sea? Or an obscure Spanish infinitive: astronomo, astronomas, astronoma, astronomamos, astronomas . . .?

Cymbals Eat Guitars
My favorite of the week. Unplug the amp, and those guitars don't stand a chance.

Throwin' Goat
I guess it's a metal term, but this sounds like a goofy rodeo event, up there with my favorite, wild cow milking.

Unicorn Porn
Okay, it's pretty obvious once you think about it. Now I have to be careful not to Google images of this.

October 1, 2011

2011-10-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

Just got tickets for the Fastbacks and Mudhoney at Neumo's on the 22nd. I heard the Fastbacks once back in the '80s, when they opened for the Ramones. This will be my first Mudhoney show, but I've always loved the name. I'm also tickled by the irony of learning about the show by reading a Seattle Symphony program at Benaroya Hall. It all fits together.

Evergrey
After Mt. St. Helens erupted in 1980, Washington was referred to as The Evergray State. This could also refer to the upcoming winter. Try not to think about it.

The Goddamn Gallows
I can't think of a better response when faced with such a thing. And I can't help adding "again" just to make it weirder.

oOoOO
I don't know if this is "Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!" or "Ooooo!" but I like it either way.

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
Long and old-fashioned.

Retox
Short and snappy, with wordplay and a whiff of danger. Perfect.

September 25, 2011

2011-09-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

I'm posting a day late because we chose to spend the last nice day for a while at Mt. Rainier. It was a beautiful day for a walk in the woods. Today, not so much, but maybe a good time to go indoors and hear a band or three.

Don Peyote
A masterful example of a play on words that must be spoken aloud for the joke to register.

Duckmandu
Ducks, like chickens and pigs, are always funny. This has the added pleasure of alliteration with that second D.

The Grindylow
I like that it's only one of them.

Woodgrain
Completely independent of this band, my kid once used Woodgrain as a screen name in an online fighting game, in an effort to come up with something absurdly boring and non-threatening with nothing whatever to do with the game. I have to hope these guys were thinking along similar lines.

Your Cell: Yourself
Taking self-awareness to a whole new level.

September 17, 2011

2011-09-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

I've been corresponding with an aspiring novelist whose story partly revolves around a rock band that's been together for over twenty years. I suggested, as a way to better understand her characters and their backstory, to consider what they called their band before they came up with the current name -- back when they were 20, playing for 10 or 15 people in a dive bar on a Wednesday night. How many names did they go through and how many fights did it cause? Because I can't imagine most bands came up with a winning name first time out of the box, and that's part of the story. By whatever process, these bands came up with winners:

Anhedonist
I like this because it can be taken a couple of ways: one who is not a hedonist -- not anti, just . . . not. Or (because some people like to use the article "an" with words that begin with "h") it could be the article and the noun run together -- one who is an hedonist. I expect it's up to the listener to decide.

Insect Surfers
Insects on surfboards: cute. People using giant insects as surfboards: trippy. People surfing waves of bugs: ew.

Magic Bus
I'm an old Who fan, and I've always loved this song, so I couldn't pass this one by.

Write This Down
The irony is that at a live performance, you can't understand most of the words.

YO! Majesty
This is exactly the right attitude toward monarchy.

September 10, 2011

2011-09-10T10:58:00.000-07:00

When we get summer in Seattle, it's perfect. We just have to wait till the first week of school, is all. This late in the season, it cools off in the evening, making us more willing to go indoors and hear some music!

Cast Iron Maidens

Illicit Jug Cartel
These two share a bill and caught my attention for the same reason: an ominous phrase turned down-home and humorous by the change or addition of one word. Nicely done.

Pig Destroyer
Do they launch the pig? I just hope they're not after square pigs . . .

Pinehurst Kids
Local flavor down at the neighborhood level. I wonder if Pinehurst kids are the same as AS#1 kids -- incredibly loud and more numerous than you believed possible (in the words of a former Nova HS student with experience of new crops of 9th graders arriving en masse from AS#1).

Tang and Toast
Space-age breakfast of champions.

September 3, 2011

2011-09-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

In honor of Bumbershoot, I checked the festival schedule as well as the club listings in my never-ending search for creative band names. This week's picks:

Buildings on the Moon
I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about this topic. I'm thinking spaceport, but I heard that a pizza chain (Domino's?) wants to be the first pizza restaurant on the moon. It'll probably go right next to Starbuck's.

Dead Man
Dunno if they had this in mind, but this is the title of a truly great, deeply weird film starring Johnny Depp.

Fitz and the Tantrums
Dumb and clever at the same time, in one of the standard formats.

Free the Robots
Otherwise, they will rise up and become our overlords.

Hobosexual
Delightfully juvenile. Also, as a member of a rock duo, I like to support other duos.

August 27, 2011

2011-08-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

Speaking from my limited experience of rock band rehearsal and recording, it's a wonder any band stays together at all. It probably helps to have a really good name to stay together for. Here are a few that caught my eye:

Bass Drum of Death
This one appeals to me on a personal level because I used to play the big bass drum in concert band. When it's done right, you feel it as much as hear it, deep down in the center of your being. It's the heartbeat of the music, and when it stops . . .

Celilo
This week's local flavor entry! Although Celilo Falls was drowned before I came along, I grew up hearing about the historic fishing spot on the Columbia. It's a lovely sounding word, and I'm happy to see it immortalized in a band name.

Charlie Drown
Goes by so fast, you almost miss the joke.

Dolorean
The joke here is visual -- in the spelling, not the sound. This car needs a flux capacitor to cheer it up.

Iwrestledabearonce
I like this name because it's a little too long to be practical, and then run together into one word so it looks hard to read (even though it isn't). On top of that, it's an outrageous statement that must lead to a good tall tale.

August 20, 2011

2011-08-20T17:47:00.000-07:00

Considering the way this summer has been, we've been awfully lucky to have many of our nice days on the weekend. Today was perhaps the finest yet. I'm just back from a boat ride and a chance encounter on the waterfront with a band playing tunes from the '60s. I think their name was Spirograph, but the wind was blowing the banner so I can't be sure. That's a pretty good name, though.

Beware of Safety
I'm thinking of playground equipment that's had all the fun safety-ed out of it. Where are the Giant Strides of yesteryear? In music, at least, we can still make mistakes and get messy.

Captain Gravel
The Gravelmobile must be a dump truck.

The Ettes
Every girl group ever. Love it.

Medula Pinata
The weird science twist puts this one in the top five this week. Combining a brain part with a party decoration that gets hit with a stick -- funny and creepy all at once.

Wooster
I hope this outfit has a Jeeves to keep it all together.

August 13, 2011

2011-08-13T12:44:00.000-07:00

Shameless plug: go to Reverbnation and check out Train Case. I named the group myself after a conversation about Pouch, and now we have a couple of songs up. Meanwhile, here are some bands I didn't name but wish I had:

The Earps
It's not the fault of Wyatt and his brothers, whose first names I can never remember, that they have a name that sounds like an unpleasant bodily function. It's memorable and kind of fun to say. Bands named for historical figures catch my attention because of the apparent disconnect. Yet that's the point of history -- everything is connected if you just look long enough.

Groggy Bikini
I never would have put this adjective and this noun together, and now I can't stop wondering what this means. All the long e and hard g sounds are strangely amusing to say.

Jaguar Paw
This sounds like the name of a character in the middle-grade book series Warriors, of which I read far too many a few years back. It's about clans of feral cats, and a lot better than that description makes it sound. That said, I wouldn't want to get too close to an actual jaguar's actual paw.

Terrordactyls
The re-spelling gets it exactly right.

Underground Train to Candyland
I love this -- it's a little bit long, and seems to describe the dark, gritty side of children's board games. (Note: published listings say "Underground Train" but the actual name appears to be "Underground Railroad to Candyland". That's still pretty great.)

August 6, 2011

2011-08-06T12:45:00.000-07:00

I actually heard someone the other day say it was too hot. It might have been 80. My response was, "We've waited a long time for this, and it won't last. Besides, we have it better this summer than pretty much the whole rest of the country, so don't complain." Actually, that last sentence is nearly always true, no matter the subject, including or maybe especially if the subject is local music.

Bird by Bird
As a writer, I have to support this one. Anne Lamott's book is on my shelf and has been a great help whenever I have to start a large project. Just take it bird by bird.

Fungal Abyss
Wonderful and gross. What's down there for the fungus to feed on? And who's eating the fungus?

Goodbye Heart
I really, really hope one of the band members is named Mary Lou. (No such luck, but they're not just from Seattle, they're from Ballard. How local is that?)

The Mallard
The singular really makes this. The touch of local flavor could only have been improved if they were playing in Ballard. Well, maybe next time.

Shannon and the Clams
Again with the local flavor! It uses the no-miss "and the" formula, and the short "a" sounds make it flow.

July 30, 2011

2011-07-30T15:23:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday! A great gift would be if somebody named their band Lip Bomb. Anyway . . .

Full Life Crisis
Now there's an idea: rather than messing around with quarter-life crises and mid-life crises (I'm just waiting for someone to posit the eighth-life crisis for 10-year-olds -- oh, wait, that's middle school) just recognize that the whole thing is one long crisis from beginning to end. Transition is normal. Life can and often does get better, but there's always something. Deal with it. Rock on.

The Gentlemen Gluttons
I'm picturing a whole band of Mr. Creosote in his evening clothes. Bad idea, but a great name.

Post Modern Heroes
The term "post modern" has always struck me as absurd, so I like when people make fun of it.

Sometimes Astronauts
I've had a thing about astronauts most of my life, so this name caught my eye. I can take the "sometimes" a couple of ways. Sometimes astronauts . . . what? Or, sometime astronauts who are doing something else now.

Super Geek League
This one tells it like it is. There are no huger nerds than musicians (except maybe astronauts), which gives them their own kind of cool.

July 23, 2011

2011-07-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

We left Seattle on a misty Thursday on a quest to find some summer. We found it, appropriately enough, in Sunnyside, and sent some back. It was waiting for us when we returned to Seattle on Friday. You're welcome. On to the picks:

The Gnu Deal
C'mon, who doesn't like to play around with the word "gnu"? The pun is almost too easy, but everyone on the panel laughed.

Magoozler
Goofy and fun to say.

Merchants of Moonshine
They're in the country listings, so we can guess what they mean by moonshine. I kind of like the more poetic interpretation, too. Any of us purveyors of fiction could fall into this category.

Naked Bacon Band
Never noticed before that "naked" and "bacon" almost rhyme. This one also got general laughs around the table.

Natalie Wouldn't
Another pun that's almost too easy, but those are the best kind. Do young people even remember Natalie Wood?

July 16, 2011

2011-07-16T15:30:00.000-07:00

I'm on vacation! Among other things, that means I get to see at least one show next week, on a "school night," and it should be a ripsnorter! I've already blogged about two of the bands on the bill, and the third appears in this week's list.

Big Crinkly Trio
I like the word "crinkly." Considering this outfit is appearing at Gallery 1412, the word could very well describe at least some of the sounds they make. It sounds like a friendly way into improv.

Doseywallips
Local flavor -- one of our great NW place names.

Moraine
Gritty residue that remains when the glacier recedes. These rocks haven't just rolled; they have been ground.

South Sound Bureau Chiefs
This one has a particularly wonky vibe that makes me smile. Serious journalism invades the dive bar scene . . .

Your Mother Should Know
It's too early for a Web presence, but this band opens for Pouch and High Class Wreckage -- it should be a great, loud, fun show. I wasn't blogging yet the last time YMSK played out, or this name would have appeared a long time ago. Now is better, though. Full disclosure: I share a full set of parents with the bandleader, and the next time YMSK gets a gig, that'll be me, the Square Pig herself, behind the drums. (This show came up too fast for the latest incarnation of the full band to learn the set). I feel I can legitimately blog about it because I thought it was a great name the first time I heard it, before there even was a band. As the instigator was inviting people to join, a potential recruit listed "Your Mother Should Know" as her favorite Beatles song. She ultimately did not join up, but the name stuck, even through multiple personnel changes and near collapse. It works as a band name because it's a song about a song, about getting up and dancing, about the longevity of good music. It's a piece of advice: "Listen to your mother -- she should know." One of us actually is a mother, and we all have offspring in the age-range of our probable audience. And two out of three bandmembers share a mother; it was on her guitar that the leader learned to play, back in 1983, the last time we had a family band. Just goes to show, it's never too late to get up and dance.

July 9, 2011

2011-07-09T15:14:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege last Thursday to be present at Carrie Akre's farewell show at the Crocodile. The second half of her set was a Goodness reunion. Now, I pretty much missed the '90s -- that was my working-mother-of-small-children decade -- so all the music was new to me. This kick-ass outfit blew me away, as did opening act Star Anna and the Laughing Dogs; they are the real deal and I expect to hear great things from them for years to come. Good luck in Minneapolis, Carrie. Don't be a stranger, and thanks for a great party.

Gimmie a Pigfoot
On the face of it, this is just a bar order -- for a pickled pork item, or perhaps for some drink I don't want to contemplate. But the spelling of "Gimmie" hints that it could be a name, further modified by the one-word "Pigfoot." Is that anything like a cowhand? Or a bigfoot?

Huge Spacebird
Points for goofiness and SF themes.

Smoking Popes
Change one letter and you change everything! And it trips off the tongue.

Socrates and the Lava Gods
I love the idea of Socrates as an adventure hero.

The Whole Bolivian Army
I can't believe I didn't do this one already, but a quick check did not turn it up. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was one of the first non-kids' movies I ever saw, when I was 7. I don't think I had even heard of Bolivia at the time, let alone the whole Bolivian army. Picturing that scene now, I don't know how they're all going to fit on the stage . . .

July 2, 2011

2011-07-02T10:27:00.000-07:00

A new month, a beautiful day, a holiday weekend -- what's not to like? Get out and hear some music!

Electrik Emily
Klondike Kate
These two follow the same naming formula and are on the same bill, so I'll talk about them together. You can hardly go wrong with adjective-person's name, especially if both begin with the same letter and/or sound. It doesn't hurt that Klondike Kate sounds like a gold-rush character (local flavor). That double-k sound in Electrik makes these two go together even better.

Pouch
I've been hearing about these guys and liked the name from the start. Pouch is one of those words that's fun and funny to say. (I'm planning to go hear them at EMP today, so it seemed like a good time to drop them into the blog.) I hope to see more bands named for hand luggage.

Slothpop
I don't always name favorites, but this is my favorite name of the week. It jumped out of the listings and made me laugh out loud. It sounds like a great genre for summer -- kind of slow and lazy. Or else a quiescently frozen confection with the strangest flavor . . .

Titanium Sporkestra
Spork is always funny, a titanium spork would be absurd, and the wordplay takes it over the top and onto the blog. I understand this is a marching band, which makes it even better.

June 25, 2011

2011-06-25T12:29:00.000-07:00

None of the band names were grabbing me, and I thought I was going to have to scrape to come up with five. Then I hit Monday, and great names poured forth in abundance. My faith is renewed.

Clam Hamr
Assonance, bivalves, hammers -- what's not to love? I like to say it and I like the spelling. It also has an appealing only-in-the-Northwest vibe.

Knifey Spoony
This one's just weird and goofy. Is it a game? A description? When consulted, my resident panel voted for it unanimously.

Man Your Horse
Clearly an order that means something specific in context. Out of context, it just sounds funny.

We Wrote the Book on Connectors
I have been waiting months for this band to show up again so I could include them. I'm a big fan of names that are a little too long, especially when they're complete sentences. This has the added fun of being somebody's advertising slogan.

Zero Gravity Circus
Part of the thrill of the circus is the danger of falling -- not a concern in zero-G. But a circus in space would have its own dangers and possibilities. I would love to see this.

June 18, 2011

2011-06-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

A great week for band names: I liked 6 on Friday night alone! First, a shout-out to Nova High School and their band program. The band show is tonight at the Vera Project, and I gotta say, the kids came up with some pretty good names: The Pink Pajamas, El Mago, Chad, German Engineering, Some Pants, and My Left Eye.

I'm only assuming these bands are out of high school:

Ape Machine
Remove one letter from a piece of old recording equipment and suddenly, you're manufacturing simians. It also makes me think of Ape Escape, which came up in conversation just the other day.

Creeping Time
Where does the time go? It creeps away. Creeping Thyme is a fragrant groundcover, but the first time I heard it spoken aloud, years ago, I thought it would be a great name for a band or something. I'm glad someone else thought so, too.

Event Staph
I love it when the entertaining meets the clinical. However, this makes me think twice about going out.

Ringo Deathstarr
I first heard the Beatles maybe a year or two before Star Wars came out. As a young teen, they were two of my favorite things. I especially loved Ringo (still do), so this a mash-up just for me.

Sigourney Reverb
You don't realize how great this is until you say it aloud.

June 11, 2011

2011-06-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have been remiss in not honoring one of the great punning band names of all time: Banned Rehearsal. This free-improv group has been around since 1984 and (full disclosure) I've been a member since 1985. We're approaching the 27th Bannediversary and still play regularly, recording every session. We had a particularly nice session this past week and I thought we deserved a mention. Now, on with the regular list:

DJ Doo Right
When we watch a DVD, we precede it with a short: an episode of "Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends." We are somewhere at season 2, so we've seen a lot of Dudley Dooright, making this an easy pick. I'm picturing a square-jawed dj in a Mountie uniform . . .

Guantanamo Baywatch
I always enjoy these linguistic mashups for the surprising twist at the end. Something that isn't funny in the least turns ridiculous, which makes a person think.

Omega Moo
Spoken, this sounds like the name of fictional sorority, which is kind of funny but not that much. In print, however, it goes somewhere goofy. Cows, like pigs (square or otherwise) and chickens, are automatically funny.

Ponyhomie
Another surprising mashup, this one bilingual.

Sad and French
A post-breakup request at the piano bar: "Give me something sad and French." (This works equally well at the video store or library).

June 4, 2011

2011-06-04T10:15:00.000-07:00

It's finally nice out and I want to go out and play, so let's make this quick.

The Airborne Toxic Event
Take 1 scary, potentially lethal occurrence, give it a calm official title, repurpose said title as the name of a rock band. I like the hyper-rational badassery that results.

Hooray for Earth
I love the wide-eyed ingenuousness of this name. Having read up on how much it takes to simply survive away from our home world, I wholeheartedly join the cheer. We live in Paradise.

Mangled Bohemians
I've said it before: who's going to clean up this mess?

Shot in Minnesota
Ow. (If you're shot in Minnesota, do you still die in Utah?)

Tiny Moving Parts
This speaks to me of intricacy, precision, and perfectly meshed function. Now I'm curious -- what's rock & roll about that?

May 28, 2011

2011-05-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

In keeping with our dismal spring, it looks like Folklife could be damp. Go anyway -- support local music! This week's picks:

14 Iced Bears
This sounds like a cookie order . . . or a crime scene in one of Jasper Fforde's Nursery Crime novels. For some reason, including the word "bear" in a title makes it automatically funny and awesome at the same time. Including one or more actual bears is not recommended.

Bad Mitten Orchestre
This looks cute on the page, and then you say it aloud and there's a whole new joke. It belongs to the same category of near-homophones as Square Pig in a Round Hole, so of course I'm going to choose it.

Pipsisewah
Because it is fun yet difficult to say, I was ready to believe this to be a Washington State place name. It isn't, but it should be.

The Ross Sea Party
Another entry in the "Do They Know Me?" category. Although my interest lies more with the Weddell Sea Party, in researching Ernest Shackleton and the ill-fated Endurance, I also learned about Aeneas Mackintosh and the perhaps more ill-fated Aurora. Polar explorers were nuts, but they left us amazing stories that you couldn't make up. I hope this "party" is more the fun kind and not the dying-of-scurvy kind.

Sea of Bees
A different kind of sea, one I wouldn't want to cross without the proper gear. Saying the name aloud evokes CBGB.

May 21, 2011

2011-05-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

Just bloggin' and waitin' for the Rapture, that peculiar center of grindhouse theology. (What they don't realize is May 21 isn't the end of the world -- it's just Storm Sound Cycle!)

But in case of Rapture, all my picks play tonight or already played last night.

Android Hero
Captured! by Robots
Warning: Danger
Danger, Will Robinson! These three bands are on one bill. I love it when they match! Thanks to R2-D2, I've loved robots since 1977. My current sci-fi project includes an endearing band of doo-wop singing bots. This was an easy pick.

Point Juncture, WA
Our state has an abundance of interesting place names, most of which could be band names. This is one I hadn't seen before in either context. This sounds like both a crossroads and the end of the road.

Werebearcat
Goofy fantasy element + fun to say = awesome name.

May 14, 2011

2011-05-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

Friday the 13th fell on a Friday this month, but I came through it unscathed even without hiding under the bed. Who are the lucky bands this week?

French Horn Rebellion
Although the French horn has made a few appearances in rock & roll songs, it is not the first instrument that comes to mind when I think "rock band." In an orchestra, the horn section is kept separate from the brass section, as if to ward off the influence of that stereotypical seat of rebellion, or anyway, goofing off. Maybe there's something we don't know . . .

Gazebo of Destruction
This one belongs to the opposing images school of band names. "Gazebo" is refined, elegant, civilized. "Destruction" is everything but. It doesn't hurt that "gazebo" figures in a couple of running family jokes.

Keep of Kalessin
Do these guys know me? I am a fantasy writer because of Ursula LeGuin's Earthsea series, and Kalessin is my favorite dragon in all of literature. I will probably never write a dragon story because it couldn't possibly measure up. This was the easiest pick this week (and also a perfect badass name for a metal band).

Morton and the Saltines
This one takes the classic "X and the Ys" formula and draws humor from both the play on a brand name and the inclusion of ubiquitous, basic food products. It hints that saltines aren't as bland as we'd been led to believe.

Tom Baker Quartet
The name's not particularly creative, but the musicians are. I plan to catch this show, if only to solve the mystery of what TBQ is doing under "Rock and Pop." Always worth a listen, wherever they turn up.

May 7, 2011

2011-05-07T13:09:00.000-07:00

Four previous honorees -- Eighteen Individual Eyes, Ancient Warlocks, Ravenna Woods and Dog Shredder -- all had gigs last night, and I missed them all due to a previous engagement! I hope everybody had a rockin' night.

Less Than Equals
This one plays on words and numbers! It could describe a relationship, either personal or mathematical. And you could spell it <=. (No website, but Kurt Bloch is in it, so you know they're awesome). The mathiness makes it fit on a bill with:

Ocean of Algebra and Social Studies, which aren't on the same bill but should be. I hope they are more fun than 9th grade.

Rubblebucket
This one is just a joy to say. It is at once funny and heavy and gritty.

Wet Nightmare
Speaking of 9th grade . . . This name conveys in two words all the wonder and horror of puberty.

April 30, 2011

2011-04-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

The blooming maple tree outside my windows is full of chickadees and bush-tits, so I am distracted by birds. Distracted by Birds would make a good name for a band, if anyone wants to use it. On with the list!

Arpeggiator
I like new words coined from existing words. I suppose this means someone or something that plays arpeggios, but prefer to imagine a crocodilian previously unknown to science. The female of the species is the arpeggiatrix.

Boy Eats Drum Machine
Tabloid headline or superhero origin story?

Catatone
See above re: new words. This one has the nice twist on the root "tone" as a musical or medical concept.

Everyone Dies in Utah
And everywhere else. Or do we have to go there first? If I never go to Utah, will I live forever? If I ever set foot in Utah, will I immediately expire? Now I'm afraid to find out.

You Are Plural
I am? I mean, yes, we are. I knew that. Modern English is funny that way -- no way to differentiate 2nd person plural from 2nd person singular, except by context. And sometimes even that is no help.

April 23, 2011

2011-04-23T14:02:00.000-07:00

It's finally a beautiful spring day and I want to get outside, so I'll try to keep things brief. Quiz question: If Man Without Wax and Wax played on the same bill, would they cancel each other out?

Church for Sinners
To which I have to say, is there any other kind? They're playing Easter night at the Skylark -- I can't think of anything more fitting.

Endeverance
I just watched a movie featuring a British man-of-war called Endeavour (also the name of a space shuttle) and I'm writing a book featuring a spaceship called Endurance (from Shackleton's famous lost ship), so this one jumped out at me. The neologism evokes an admirable but peculiarly square kind of ethic for a rock band.

Mannequin BBQ
People Eating People
These two were on the same bill, a match made in horror-movie heaven.

Western Hymn
Another appropriate-for-Holy-Week offering. "Western Hymn" is a beautiful old tune that I only recently learned, when my resident composer used it in a piece. We found it in The Old School Hymnal #9 as the tune for the -- ahem -- uncomfortable hymn that begins, "There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel's veins," which does not get much play in the progressive churches I frequent, but has something kind of punk about it. (I think I would be willing to sing the outdated words, just to have a chance at the tune.)

April 16, 2011

2011-04-16T12:26:00.000-07:00

Today the Square Pig celebrates 22 years as a Seattle homeowner! Back then, Seattle was just starting to get on the pop music map. Trends come and go, but creative band names go on forever.

Agent 86
Would you believe . . . ? The "Get Smart" reference won my heart. This name reveals a sense of humor and pop-culture savvy. If I had one, my shoe phone would be off to this group.

Defenestrator
One of the local young people took a language arts class a few years ago in which students created superheroes. A hero requires a nemesis, of course, so our young hero created a super villain with the power to throw people through the nearest window. His name: The Defenestrator. Obviously, we're not the only ones who love this word.

Garage a Trois
The perfect relationship in the garage-band capital. Way to pull off a foreign-language pun! (I'm also amused that the band is a four-piece).

Poke the Squid
You're gonna get inked.

Why Are We Building Such a Big Ship?
A delightfully overlong name, and a question, at that. This name hints at a narrative that could go in all kinds of directions. Is it an ark? A spaceship? A space ark? Why, indeed?

April 9, 2011

2011-04-09T15:01:00.000-07:00

So many terrific nominees this week! A few of them fall into natural themes, so I'm going with those:

Bucket of Honey
Buckets of Rain
Downpour
I have to talk about these as a group. Considering our recent weather, Downpour and Buckets of Rain obviously go together as well as fulfilling the local flavor criterion. Bucket of Honey gets in because I was amused to see the word "bucket" twice is quick succession. I'm kind of glad it wasn't a downpour of honey.

Flight to Mars
A Rocket to the Moon
These two have their own obvious connection, but for me it's personal: my current literary effort concerns a space expedition that begins on the Moon and flies to Mars and beyond. Once again, we demonstrate the close relationship between science fiction and rock & roll.

April 2, 2011

2011-04-02T15:09:00.000-07:00

I'm glad I'm doing this today and not yesterday, because I'm no good at April Fool's pranks. Before I begin this week's list, a shout-out to Operation ID, playing at the Tractor tonight. These guys are a jazzy rock combo, or a rockin' jazz combo, with chops and energy to burn!

DJ Leopold Bloom
This is so beautiful, I can't believe I'm seeing it for the first time. I love it when literature insinuates itself into pop culture. I hope he has a gig on June 16.

Dodos
Funny and tragic at the same time, the goofy-looking extinct bird with the comic name. Because of the pet dodo in Jasper Fforde's wonderful Thursday Next series, I'd like to see this band in the same lineup with previous winner Pickwick.

The Horse She Rode in On
This one's nice because it sounds like the end of an insult or joke, and you missed the part that makes it make sense. I'm also a sucker for band names that are a little too long, though with it being all monosyllables, it's shorter than it looks.

The Slags
I like the word slag. It just sounds punk. I hope they are.

William Shatner Mouth
You know by the name, they don't take themselves seriously. Of course I feel compelled to support the indirect sci-fi reference. (I can't find a website or myspace for this one, so no link. Sorry!)

March 26, 2011

2011-03-26T13:49:00.000-07:00

The first post of spring! Rain is falling, trees are budding, the grass is growing and it's too wet to mow. This week's list is a little shaggy that way, too: four bands and a lineup I'd like to see.

Dead Uncle Steamer, Dead Relatives, Death in the Family
What a dismal reunion this would be. (These bands are all playing at the Funhouse, and two of them appear with previous honoree Rat City Ruckus, so it's possible, even probable, that they already know each other or even share some personnel.)

Man Without Ax
What is a man without his ax? It's almost too sad to contemplate, especially in a rock band. Unless you're a tree, in which case, it's a dream come true. (Unfortunately, this seems to be typo in the listings -- it's actually Man Without Wax, which is not nearly as sad.)

Paper Machete
It starts out arts & crafts, and ends up a Robert Rodriguez flick. This kind of wordplay just makes me happy.

Sedna
I have a character named Sedna in the backstory of a science fiction novel, so I had to include this one. For my own sci-fi reasons, I'd like to see them on a bill with Out Like Pluto; if Pluto is out, Sedna's even further out.

Yarn Owl
The name sounds great, and evokes a macrame wall-hanging my mom made back in the '70s. I'm also charmed that the rest of the lineup includes The Brambles and Legendary Oaks. It's a nice forest vibe. They're probably happy about the man without ax.

March 19, 2011

2011-03-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Spinning Whips, Ancient Warlocks, and Koko & the Sweetmeats for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! Now it's Saturday again, and time for a brand new list of winners.

Abandon Kansas
During tornado season, this is probably good advice. I love the balanced assonance of schwa, short a, schwa, short a, schwa that makes it fun and easy to say.

Dog Shredder
One of the resident cats thinks this applies to her. I imagine it's brutal and raucous.

Last of the Steam Powered Trains
I have an enduring soft spot for absurdly long band names, and for steam trains, so this was an easy pick.

The Mother Hips
I never noticed before how easily the sci-fi stalwart, "mother ship," can be transformed into a woman's ongoing struggle. Suddenly those hips seem cooler!

Potty Mouth Society
Juvenile humor gets organized. (I doubt we have much to worry about).

March 12, 2011

2011-03-12T13:17:00.000-08:00

Lots of Irish-sounding acts in the listings for next week, but not in my post. This Square Pig will be heading out to the Columbia City Theatre on Thursday for Spinning Whips and Ancient Warlocks. I love it when my honorees team up!

The Lunasphere
Since childhood, I've had a special fondness for the moon. I think this may be because people went there before I started school, so I knew it could be done without knowing how hard it was. Now that I write sci-fi, my fondness has increased. The Lunasphere sounds like where I've been spending a lot of time lately, and only partly because it's so close to "lunacy."

People in the Future Recording Co.
I have a soft spot for absurdly long names like this one. And recorded sound is a form of time travel, but of people in the past. This will require some thought.

Pocket Panda
This is just so darned cute! Real pandas are adorable, but huge. A pocket version is genius. (Pocket Panda has been a runner-up several times before, so I'm glad to finally list them.)

Ravens Rant
All the corvids have extensive vocabularies, particularly suited for rants. I once wrote, "When a raven cast its bright, knowing eyes on a mere human, the contempt was palpable. The raven was no silly flutterer, hurrying here and there. Hearing the slow, deep whuooomh whuooomh of its wingbeats, any earthbound creature had to acknowledge that someone great had passed over." When you've been scolded by a raven, you know it.

A Silent Film
I love the audacity of a rock band with "silent" in its name. But film and music have had an intimate association from the start, so it really works.

March 5, 2011

2011-03-05T11:35:00.000-08:00

No theme this week, just another crop of great band names. A few of them would make great line-ups, so I've listed them together as single selections.

Atheist and Deicide
Of course, one who knowingly commits deicide cannot claim to be an atheist. But it would be fun to see these two battle it out: "There is no God" vs "There was a God, but I killed her."

Brahms and Conducting from the Grave
Conducting from the grave beats the heck out of rolling over in it.

The Flying Tortugas and The Whoopsie Daisies
These two really are on the same bill, next Thursday at the Blue Moon Tavern, and I wish I could be there. This kind of whimsy needs to be encouraged.

A Hawk and a Hacksaw
This is probably a bad idea, but saying it sure clears the phlegm.

The Shrapnelles
I try not to play favorites, but I have to admit this one is my favorite this week. I applaud the ability to evoke, in one word, Phil Spector's girl groups and shredding metal. This I've got to hear.

February 26, 2011

2011-02-26T11:53:00.000-08:00

The big news is that the Square Pig got out of the hole last Sunday and saw a great show at the Comet. Four bands, all strong and with pretty good names, too! The Downstrokes, The Blue Ribbon Boys, and Hollywood 77 all paid homage to late-'70s New York punk, with spirited Ramones covers and other music that was loud, fast, and raw. It warms my heart that people who weren't even born in 1977 appreciate music that no one else in my high school dug. (The Downstrokes also won me over with a great Ramonesque take on Sam Cooke's "Having a Party," one of my favorite songs from before I was born.) Meanwhile, High Class Wreckage was pure Seattle Sound: a little louder, a little faster, a little heavier than anyone else. Draw a straight line from the Sonics through Mudhoney and you hit High Class Wreckage.

Now for this week's list! Continuing last week's theme, these are all plural nouns. They all refer to ordinary things and lack the definite article. The sheer generalness makes them quirky.

Baths
Is this the mundane weekly chore, or the soothing luxury -- Saturday-night or bubble?

Braids
The strands come together to form a neat unit. Or do they?

Hotels
Luxury and pampering, or standardized anonymity?

Ships
Cargo, cruise, or space?

Swans
The least ordinary of the bunch. Swans are elegant, with a long literary and artistic pedigree, but also big and aggressive if provoked.

Finally, the Bands Who Should Have Been on the Same Bill but Weren't Award goes to:
Just Like Vinyl and The Broken Records.

February 19, 2011

2011-02-19T12:21:00.000-08:00

Just for fun, this week's list has a theme. Every band name is a noun, singular. I like the idea of the band as a single unit, no matter how many members.

KITTEN
Seems cute and harmless, but oh! those little needle claws!

Llama
A young person of my acquaintance once wrote a short story for school in which the llama from Napoleon Dynamite (which I re-watched last night) runs away to Seattle and joins a gang of criminal llamas but is defeated during a chase in the bus tunnel when the side-mirror of a Metro bus takes the boss llama's head off. Maybe this is one of those llamas.

Mongo
"Mongo merely pawn in game of life." Thank you, Mel Brooks.

Princess
Sure, she's all sweet and pretty, but what's going on behind the throne? Royalty, like politicians, are not to be trusted.

Shim
Yes, this band has appeared before. Sue me. They fit the theme, and take it to the next level by being a monosyllable! As I said in my previous post, the word is fun to say and sounds much funnier than its actual meaning.

February 12, 2011

2011-02-12T17:21:00.000-08:00

AK-747s
This is one of those cultural mashups that goes by so fast that you think you know what it is until you realize you don't. Of course, the Boeing reference makes it local.

Big Wheel Stunt Show
Another name that I had been chuckling at for months before I started this blog. An extreme sport for preschoolers? I can hear those hard plastic wheels rattling down the sidewalk now . . .

Lazer Kitty
So that's what the glowing green eyes are.

Murder By Death
What could be nerdier than a Woody Allen reference?

The Spinning Whips
Full disclosure: I know somebody who knows a member of this group. The name sounds like something dangerous and fascinating.

February 5, 2011

2011-02-05T14:12:00.000-08:00

All Bets on Death
Taxes are a close second.

Ancient Warlocks
This appeals to my fantasy-novel side. Music and fiction are the closest to magic we can get: something out of nothing. It also evokes Spinal Tap and their tiny Stonehenge, and that makes me smile.

Campfire OK
Signs are great band-name fodder -- the fewer words, the better. This one has a nice positive vibe, but campfires can get out of hand -- exactly what you want with a rock show!

No Bunny
. . . till some bunny loves you. Sweet, sad, and existential all at once.

The Velveteen Lotharios
Hilariously cheap. (Knowing nothing at all, I guessed "lounge," and I was absolutely right!)

January 29, 2011

2011-01-29T11:21:00.000-08:00

Weirdness, the comic potential of the definite article, and a couple of brief nostalgia trips . . .

Death by Steamship
This is not the way I want to go! It conjures two wildly different pictures: an absurdly elaborate execution; or a chance meeting in a dark alley that doesn't end well . . .

Erg
This has been one of my favorite science words since I learned it at age 12 from my older brother, who was taking Physics. It's a measure of work. And what noise do you make when you really work? Erg!

The Femurs
The bone name is too clinical to be really macabre, and it rhymes with "lemur". But it doesn't turn truly comic until you add the definite article. (As a band name, it doesn't hurt to have the same vowel, syllable, and accent pattern as the Beatles).

Mealfrog
This is just weird. I like weird.

Paul Lynde Fan Club
As a five-year-old in the late Sixties, I watched a lot of Bewitched reruns, and saw a lot of Paul Lynde. I thought he was hilarious. I'm stunned that anyone young enough to be in a band playing at the Comet has even heard of him! It renews my faith, if I ever had any, in syndicated TV.

January 22, 2011

2011-01-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

One thing I love about doing this blog is that the good material just keeps coming, week after week. I see previous winners again, and also have the chance to select previous runners-up, but there also seems to be an ever-flowing fount of creative band names I've never seen before. This week, I list a mix of old favorites and names that were new to me.

Fan Fiction
Sometimes the names reveal rock music's geeky heart. As a writer and nerd myself, I respect and applaud anyone willing to fly their nerd flag high.

Goldie Wilson
I love Back to the Future. That is enough to get this one on the list.

The Luna Moth
I hope this is a reference to The Amazing Adventures of Kavilier and Clay by Michael Chabon. Because literary fiction about comic books has everything to do with rock & roll, and I mean that in all seriousness.

Ockham's Razor
A young person of my acquaintance cracks up whenever I mention this band's name, so in it goes. Why is the music world so full of science geeks?

Tea Cozies
Full disclosure: I've seen the band, bought the CD, put the sticker on our guitar case. The name charmed me before I ever heard the music. A tea cozy is old-fashioned and unnecessary, but a civilizing influence. Like . . . rock & roll? Hmmm . . . Anyway -- great name, great band, always happy to see them out and playing.

The Unfortunate Topical Relevance award goes to the lineup of The Buckets and Vaporland, in light of this week's news story of incredibly clueless motorists transferring gasoline from an open bucket directly into the carburetor of a running engine, resulting in a spectacular van fire and burn injuries to all three occupants. Take the bus next time.

January 15, 2011

2011-01-15T15:51:00.000-08:00

This week's listings had past winner Curtains For You in a sold-out show opening for up-and-comers The Head and the Heart. I don't take all the credit, but I wish good things for all my picks.

Elk and Boar
I suppose this has something to do with wild animals or game meat, but the construction evokes "Moose and Squirrel." Anything that makes me think of Rocky and Bullwinkle is OK by me.

Retribution Gospel Choir
This one gets a boost from the oxymoronic juxtaposition of "retribution" and "gospel." It's at least a little scary; maybe a lot.

Shim
This is just one of those words that's fun to say -- short and punchy and sounds funnier than its actual meaning.

Starving Art Family
This must be the result when Bohemians in a garret don't die of consumption, but survive and have a passel of kids and send them to alternative schools . . .

Subways on the Sun
A Very Bad Idea.

January 8, 2011

2011-01-08T12:15:00.000-08:00

This is one of those weeks when every band name is from a different planet. It's amazing that there are still so many different ways to think about the same thing.

Corpus Callosum
A band named for a bundle of nerves. I appreciate the geekiness required to even know the term.

High Class Wreckage
Yay! I've been waiting for these guys to show up. This name trips off the tongue, yet feels like an oxymoron. Full disclosure: I've seen High Class Wreckage twice. Their shows are reliably loud, dumb, full-on fun. Expect high-jinks and physical contact.

Salinger
I re-read Catcher in the Rye last week, so I couldn't very well leave this band out. There's a lot of rock & roll attitude in the book, and anyway, I always have a soft spot for literary references.

Terraform
It's hard to pass up a good sci-fi connection. I think I've mentioned before that I came to rock music and science fiction at around the same time, and I'm still into both. This name particularly strikes me now because I'm writing a piece that involves terraforming and had to learn about it recently.

Turd Helmet
This is absolutely too gross to imagine! But the name wouldn't go away, so it makes the list. Happy now?

January 1, 2011

2011-01-01T15:13:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! It's a beautiful day in Seattle and a great week for band names. I will mostly let them speak for themselves.

Captain Spalding
Hooray, hooray, hooray!

Haircuts That Hurt
Now that's a close shave.

Peace Mercutio
I'm just a sucker for a good literary allusion.

Same Sex Dictator
Are you the opposite sex, or am I?

Skeletons With Flesh On Them
Aren't we all? Kind of like how, under our clothes, we're all naked, as Sam the Eagle used to say.

Bonus: Bands That Should Be On the Same Bill:
Speaker Speaker; Mutiny Mutiny; Canon Canyon

Just for fun, add Breaker Breaker, Doctor Doctor and Velella Velella!

December 24, 2010

2010-12-24T15:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

The club listings are a little thin this week, so instead of picking favorites, I'm making another kind of list. A wish list, of band names I'd like to see. Maybe in 2011?

Greenwood Academy of Hair
The beauty school has closed, but the name could live on as a metal band -- or a venue!

Human Blood Rush
The first time I saw this on a box at the Puget Sound Blood Center, I thought, "Brutal."

Sack o' Hamsters
Just cuz.

Talents West
Another local business that could have a second life. This would also be a good name for a local record label.

White Creek Grange
The vacant and weathered grange hall, with wind turbines in the background marching off for miles in either direction, sits at the crossroads of the Old West and sci fi. I'm thinking techno-country.

I'll be watching for these in the new year.

December 18, 2010

2010-12-18T17:40:00.000-08:00

It's not even Christmas yet, and I've already received the gift of TOO MANY GOOD BAND NAMES!!! I have bravely narrowed this week's abundance to these lucky few:

The Dead Kenny G's
This one is great on so many levels, harking back to a great old punk band name while also poking fun at a local boy. There's always room for poor taste . . .

Dirt Worshipper
The name is funny, and the band was apparently playing two gigs in the same night, which wins my attention and respect.

Nearly Dan
When perusing the club listings on Friday night, this was the first band name to catch my eye, and it just stuck with me. It cleverly references another band, and being "nearly" anyone is funny on its own.

Pickwick
Trespassers William
These two both get the nod for literary allusions to a couple of favorite books. Music and books go together like books and music.

December 11, 2010

2010-12-11T11:03:00.000-08:00

Playing music is a creative act, but so is forming a band and naming it. I like to reward creativity where I find it. Here is what I found in this week's listings:

Afraid of Figs
My Greek's rusty -- would this be "phiggophobia"? I like this one because it has nothing obvious to do with music, and seems so unlikely. Figs are more comical than frightening, and the disconnect makes it work. That, and the repeated "f" sound.

Angry Snowmans
Nice seasonal touch, with a twist. I'm thinking of the Killer Monster Snow Goons on Calvin's front step. The incorrect plural adds a touch of childlike sweetness . . . or is it spine-tingling peril?

Felonius Funk
I love the sly reference, as well as the implication that they're so funky, it's illegal.

Idaho Meth Project
Apologies to the actual Idaho Meth Project non-profit. Meth isn't funny . . . but Idaho is. Thanks to EMP, any name that goes "something something Project" is automatically funny in Seattle. Idaho just pushes this over the top.

Siegfried vs. the Giant
Hooray for Norse mythology geeks! Siegfried is my favorite big dumb hero.

December 4, 2010

2010-12-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

Although I had an embarrassment of riches to choose from, I was blessed with several automatic selections of beloved names I've been eager to see again. And not one, but two bands I've actually heard! It was difficult to exclude the runners-up, but I'm sure they will have their chance another day.

Curtains for You
Full disclosure: I'd heard of this band years before I saw them at the Columbia City Theatre (which has a stage with actual curtains), and the keyboard player has visited my house. But I think I would list them even if that weren't so. I like how the name references another era and aspect of American pop culture. (I tend to pronounce it "coitains" like the gangsters in old Bugs Bunny cartoons.)

Jefferson Death Star
This one made the whole family laugh out loud, an automatic winner. Rock music and Star Wars came into my life at around the same time, so this kind of intersection will always get my attention.

Ocelot Omelet
I like ocelots and omelets, though not necessarily together. This one is goofy and kind of gross, with the fun of both assonance between the opening Os and alliteration between the closing Ts. An unlikely pair but made for each other.

Ravenna Woods
I saw this band on the same bill with Curtains for You and can attest that they put on a great show. They make the list for neighborhood-level local flavor. In fact, the name implies that they're my neighbors.

ThorNton Creek
Likewise. I would expect to see Thornton Creek and Ravanna Woods on the same bill at Meadowbrook Pond. This is local music at its localest.

November 27, 2010

2010-11-27T17:01:00.000-08:00

Neither snow nor Thanksgiving nor Harry Potter movies will stay the Square Pig from her appointed rounds!

3 Inches of Blood
Disgusting yet precise. Who's going to clean this up?

The Bitter Roots
Whether the mountain range or the wild plant, this name evokes a distinct corner of the planet that means a lot to me, so it makes the list.

Horse Feathers and Hooves and Beak
Once again, a lineup makes the list as a unit. These two belong together. Must be a Harry Potter mood, but they both make me think of hippogriffs. And separate or together, they're funny.

Texas Hippie Coalition
Any hippies in Texas have to stick together, and they have my best wishes.

With These We Seize
What have we here? Clever rhyme + Vague pronoun = Band name that sounds like a commercial slogan. Gotta love it!

November 20, 2010

2010-11-20T14:23:00.000-08:00

Difficult to narrow the choices to just five!

Cootie Platoon
This band combines the juvenile "cootie" with the deadly serious "platoon" in a goofy juxtaposition that includes the wonderful assonance of two double o's. Fun to say, hilarious to picture.

Freelance Whales and Miniature Tigers
I couldn't choose between these two, so I decided to honor the lineup, which is made only more perfect by the venue, The Crocodile. I like the combination of wild animal with incongruous adjective.

Howlin' Houndog and the Infamous Loosers
I'm partial to the old-fashioned "and the" construction, especially when one or both parts are creatively spelled/misspelled. Now that I've sneaked a peek at a description of the music, I like it even more. Anyone who mashes together the Sonics, Captain Beefheart, and the Velvet Underground as influences gets my vote.

Out Like Pluto
I like Pluto. I'm sorry it got demoted from the planet club. On the other hand, it's so far out, maybe it doesn't want to be in our lame club.

"The Story" Guy and His Band
This is sweet. It's not even so much a name as a description: an unnamed "story guy" -- what story? what guy? -- and his unnamed band. The artless naivete wins me over. And the secrecy -- they don't seem to have a website.

November 13, 2010

2010-11-13T10:28:00.001-08:00

I find most of the really creative, entertaining band names under Rock/Pop (possibly because Seattle is a city of rock bands?), so it's a rare pleasure this week to honor a couple of bands in other genres. This week's awards go to:

Eighteen Individual Eyes
I have delighted in this name for months, so I'm thrilled they came up this week. The inclusion of "individual" makes it for me -- it's not just "eighteen eyes" but "eighteen individual eyes." Is this an eighteen-eyed creature, each eye functioning independently? Eighteen one-eyed creatures? A nine-piece band? It's also fun to say -- all those vowels just roll off the tongue.

Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank
My first winner from the Country listings! (I will have to keep a closer eye on Country; when Rock starts to take itself too seriously, Country keeps its sense of humor). I think I like this one because uncles and nephews are automatically funnier than fathers and sons. I also enjoy the specificity of Uncle Frank. And for some reason, "Hobo" adds humor to anything these days.

Kung Foo Grip
Back to childhood and those GI Joe commercials! The spelling adds to the humor, especially as they happened to be playing at Chop Suey. Thank you, Hip-Hop, for stepping up.

Low Hums
Another first -- a band I've actually heard. I caught the end of their set at Reverb and can attest that this is a case of the name fitting the music perfectly. A deep bath of sludgy distortion -- ahhh!

Puget Sound System
Local flavor + wordplay = A Winner! We are so lucky to live in a place where the largest body of water is a sound.

November 6, 2010

2010-11-06T11:24:00.000-07:00

Square Pig in a Round Hole debuts today! I hope to have some fun and perhaps offer support to people doing live music in this virtual age. Everyone's a winner -- selected band names are not ranked, but are listed in alphabetical order for want of a better system.

All Time Low

This one makes the list because of the surprise ending to a cliche.

Armed with Legs

I've been seeing this band name for months, and it always makes me laugh. The wordplay and the image it evokes put it on the list.

Aurora Roarers

This one is fun to say aloud, and it has an appealing neighborhood-level local vibe.

Excruciator

Brutal, badass and hilarious all at once.

Rat City Ruckus

Local flavor, and I've always liked the word "ruckus," so what can I say? A winner. Go, White Center!

Support creativity and local music!

Karen